Words from the song “For Good” from the musical "Wicked"

"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
...And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you..."

The past few days have left me reflective, frustrated, fearful, relieved, overwhelmed and humbled.

I once heard it said that "people come and go in our lives for a reason and perhaps a season" and with "many goodbyes we learn".

I think we learn to accept differences in each other, observe grace and mercy in others and ourselves.

I believe that we learn that if only by the grace of God, we are led and directed and guided by a Hand much gentler than our own or the hand of another.

I felt as alone as this yellow daisy this week, surrounded by glorious blossoms of royal purple. 

I learned however, that not all is as I assume it to be.  Imagine that...

Others have struggled getting to where they are today.  Held in high regard, respected among their peers and they continue to question themselves.  They hold me to a higher standard because they have held that banner high and know that it is worth the struggle to fight for what is right.

This week I learned that anything worth fighting for is worth doing well.  I learned that those that held me to a higher standard began walking with me to do the right thing. I learned in this week that with a humble heart and a contrite spirit, others see in me those things that I cannot see myself.

INTEGRITY, DIGNITY, and COMPASSION

I thrive to do bring hope to others through their jouney of grief and loss.  Hope eluded me this week in so much that I was ready to give up and not go forward.  Then hope came through others that believe in the process of doing the right thing.

I read comments to others and their pain and their grief was screaming.  They felt violated again, one more breach of confidentiality moved into their safe place.  Their safe place was a "secured" facebook page.  Fragile, not to be trusted, sites hacked into...Really, is that all we have, is that where we lay our treasures.  The most sacred held pain, tears and saddness.  I remember a time not too long ago where I trusted.  I trusted someone to keep the sacred secret...the best laid plans of mine.  It was not to be so. It was shattered...and along with that I was literally sliced open and stomped on.

But that was then and this is now. The face of grief is observed in everyone of my fellow Gold Star Mothers...they have yet to move ever so slowly toward hope. But I know there is hope...I know because I was given hope in the face of the most painful tragic thing that has ever happened to me.  I know that you, too can have HOPE in the midst of your tragic thing, your crisis, your time of trials, your crossroads to go one way or another in a critical decision. 

I have a heart of gratitude today for the friends and collegues in my life that helped me walk a good path this week.  Thank you to you all and you know who you are.

Now, go do the right thing but first DO NO HARM!

Forever grateful to you, too!

Delain

I have reposted this from "DailyOM".  It is so powerful and truly ministered to my spirit because of the events of the last few days and weeks. 
I hope that you each receive a small bit of peace after reading this and are able to breathe.
Bless you all beyond measure,
Delain

Things We Can’t Control
Allow, Trust

We develop grace as we learn with the guiding hand of the universe, life will unfold exactly the way it should.

The idea of trusting the universe is a popular one these days, but many of us don’t know what this really means and we often have a hard time doing it. This is partly because the story of humankind is most often presented as a story about struggle, control, and survival, instead of one of trust and collaboration with the universe. Yet, in truth, we need to adhere to both ideas in this life.

On the one hand, there is much to be said about exerting control over our environment. We created shelter to protect ourselves from the elements. We hunted for animals and invented agriculture to feed ourselves. We built social infrastructures to protect ourselves and create community. This is how we survive and grow as a civilization. However, it is also clear that there are plenty of things that we cannot control, no matter how hard we try, and we often receive support from an unseen force – a universe that provides us with what we cannot provide for ourselves.

It is a good idea to take responsibility for the things in life that we can control or create. We work so we can feed, clothe, and shelter our loved ones and ourselves. We manifest our dreams and visions in physical form with hard work and forethought. But at a certain point, when we have done all that we can, we must let go and allow the universe to take over. This requires trust. It requires a trust that runs deeper than just expecting things to turn out the way we want them to. Sometimes they will, and sometimes they won’t. We develop equanimity and grace as we learn to trust that, with the guiding hand of the universe, life will unfold exactly the way it should. We are engaged in an ongoing relationship with a universe that responds to our thoughts and actions.

What do you do when you don't know what to do?

 photo by Apex Photography

I just read this on a post of Gold Star Families facebook page.  James gave me permission to use his words to let all of us know what really matters when someone is hurting because of the death of a loved one.  I think James summed it up beautifully. 

"Those of us who suffer grief will more often than not remember the quiet and unassuming person who comes to visit them. The person who quietly sits by us on the couch and lets us weep and talk about our lost loved one without interruption or thinking they have to add anything. The person who handed us a kleenex without a word. The who was there when they needed them, who just simply listened — who didn’t keep glancing at a watch — who simply hugged, touched, cried, and prayed. It is not the person who liked to say for all to hear "What can we do for you?" or "Let me know what I can do" it was the person who saw a need and simply did it without question or without fanfare. Like when I went to get some coffee and my sister's in Christ were at the sink washing our dishes! I did not even know they were there! Or our clothes were magically washed and folded ready to pack! I still do not know who mowed my yard or filled the car's gas tank up! I may not know who did it but I will forever remember the act!

So in summation... the people I remember most in my grief was the someone who was available and came to me..."  James Dunigan  proud father of a fallen soldier