It has been a few days since I have been on this blog to write and bear my heart and soul with friends of the Sparrow's Nest. I have been so busy learning how to run a business when in my heart of hearts I really just want to be with those who share their hopes and dreams of one day feeling whole again.
I have heard from people I really care about this week; even in the midst of paperwork piled high on my desk, emails screaming at me to respond "immediately" or "at my earliest convenience". I set aside the "stuff" and sit at their feet and listen. These people teach me about love and commitment.
To the woman who is following her dreams of continuing her path to higher education, I say you are amazing. You have overcome so much in your life and I know what it is that drives you. Someone believed in you! You can do this and you can touch the lives of others because of what you have gone through. You reached down deep to go outside of yourself and touch the hearts of those around you. I commit to companion you through this journey also. You have been given a second chance...
To the man who called me at home last night to ask what do I do and why do I do that and I don't want to lose her too, I say this...You were given a second chance in life. A second chance with the God that you worship now and love and seek to know more about. The God that loves you unconditionally and believes in you and knows you will chose to do the right thing. To raise your daughter up in the way she will go and then let her fly. Children always come home to the "nest". Trust me, I know this to be so very true. Praise God for the faithfulness of his promises. Just breathe and trust. Keep in mind that fear is the direct opposite of trust.
To my long time "friend" from miles away, you have given second chances to others so many times over the years we've talked. It is time...time for you to hug yourself, dig deep to find the courage to give yourself over to the desire for second chances. Second chance to learn what love really is and to trust that you know in your heart of hearts that you will find it. When we give and give till we can't give anymore and you are losing yourself just one more time, look up and breathe. Shame binds us and stops us from making those really hard decisions that actually when we make them we break all those chains that keep us from standing strong. I once saw a picture of a beautiful woman, bound tight with chains. Each link had a name of something or someone who was keeping her locked up. As she stood tall, looking up and not down the links were falling off her one by one. The sun was shining on her as if from God himself and her arms were no longer at her side but out in front of her reaching and receiving her second chance.
Now, I must write to the very sad story that I heard about this week. It is one of generational bondage where suicide is a darkness that hangs over the head of the women in the family. To this I want to say that you have the power to break that "curse" so to speak. You can be the one that speaks to a grief and utter despair that will no longer hold you down. You can choose LIFE and LOVE. But first, you must learn about that which is holding you down. You must forgive those who chose to give in to the darkness; to die and not fight. Forgiveness is for you my dear. You must mourn well that you might live well. Reach out to others who have chosen to stay here for awhile. You are being given a second chance to help others in their despair and teach them how to love deeply and courageously. You must learn to integrate such a deep loss into your life. A dear friend of mine who has suffered loss of two children and a spouse, a mother and a father once told me that she felt so fragmented. As if she was in this world but not of this world. I have thought that I would be losing her way too early. Her journey of grief led her to learning that she can have EMOTIONAL FREEDOM after such shock in her life. YOU CAN HAVE THAT TOO! It is our second chance to come back to this earth and be grounded to love once more. Let's talk...
And now, last but not least...I have learned this week that I too must forgive; I must let go and accept that I no longer know the person of my past that could hold me bound and chained. I must give myself a second chance this day to rise above that which attempts to pull me down. I do not have to get sucked in to those things that desire that I might die to relieve them of the constant reminder of what they are not. We are mirrors to each other. We take what we need to learn from that and shake off the rest. Learning to let go is a life long lesson. It is our choice to do so...our second chance at love, laughter and peace. To this end I say, "that just doesn't fit for me right now!" The breastplate of righteousness is on and my trust does not lie in man but in God.
~while I breathe, I have hope (dum spiro spero)
Until next time...
Delain
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